When God Closes a Door...

...somewhere He opens a window. That quote is from the Sound of Music. My mom told me that when I was little had a [what seemed like then] major disappointment. I have thought of it many times in my life when something just doesn't seem to go right. Over the past month I have thought about it many times hoping that soon a window would open.

What a crazy emotional month it has been! After the disappointing test results we felt some peace that it was time to move on with life and find another path. Out of the blue, a week later the school offered to let Ben retake the test in the fall. So now we had a decision to make, which made it even harder at times than just being forced to find a new path. Now we had to choose to find a new path or continue on the one we were on. After a lot of fasting and prayer, it felt the most right to move on with life. It was hard to walk away from the medical school plan, but good at the same time. So Ben began job hunting and networking like crazy.

It's still hard to think back on all we've been through and to change course now, but I'm learning a lot about life's trials. They are just supposed to happen and we are supposed to learn and grown from them. My friend Annie put this quote on her blog a few months ago that has brought me a lot of comfort through some of these trials:

Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching and that generally entails discomfort and pain.”

-Richard G. Scott.

Last Monday, during a conversation with a neighbor, a job opportunity opened up. He applied for the job that day, interviewed on Thursday and yesterday he was offered the position! Ben has a job! (A real grown up job- a first for us!) We feel incredibly blessed that things fell into place as quickly as they did. Ben will be working for Ken Garff Honda in Salt Lake and he's excited about it. I'm thankful that things are starting to fall into place. "Someday this will all just be part of your story" my aunt told me a month ago, which brought me comfort and perspective. These life events are shaping us into the people we will become and no life experience is wasted. We feel so blessed that even though things haven't turned out the way we originally planned, that we have other options and can make this new plan. Here's to a new chapter of life!

Memorial Day

I just love holiday weekends- and this was a perfect one! Saturday we spent the day working in the yard mostly and trying to get the pool all ready to open for our Monday BBQ/Pool Party. Chase is a great helper in the yard. My mom bought him his own tools- or tootles as he calls them. Chase worked diligently along side us digging holes and helping to plant flowers and water them. The kid loves the watering can. Ben and I are really hoping that this work ethic continues through his teenage years when it's actually helpful! Saturday night we went with my parents to a wedding reception for a gal in the ward. For the first time, I left Hudson with a babysitter! (Who wasn't his grandparent) Jenna Franks is babysitter extraordinaire! We love her, Chase especially loves her, and she's the only real babysitter I've ever left him with. Apparently at one point Hudson got fussy and Jenna was holding him and trying to calm him down. Chase ran out of the room and came back with my nursing cover, which he handed to Jenna saying "Here!" Obviously the nursing cover wasn't much help to Jenna, but I love Chase's thought process! He knows what we do to make Hudson happy!

Sunday after church we went up to the Ogden Cemetery to put flowers on my grandparents graves. My mom's parents both died a long time ago. They were wonderful people and it was great to remember them. I was explaining to Chase that they weren't here anymore, that they live in heaven now. He asked where heaven was, and I told him that means they live with Jesus now. Sweet Chase kept repeating, "They're in heaven. They are with Jesus." I love the sweetness of little ones!

 Monday morning we spent getting the pool ready. We were all pretty ready for a refreshing swim. It wasn't super warm, but my dad decided to put aside his inner Scrooge and heat the pool (just this once, he says). It was like bathtub water! We took Hudson for his first swim! I thought he looked so cute in his little swim suit here with my beautiful mom!

 Chase warmed right up to the idea of swimming again and luckily likes his new life jacket!

 We had the Franks, Petersens and Newbolds over for a BBQ and swimming. Here is Chase with Jenna, his beloved babysitter and her little brother Sam. Chase loves both of them and they kept him so entertained the whole time!

 Huds didn't last too long in the pool, although he was a good sport for a good half hour. Then he got all nice and dry and snuggled up with Unky Nate who came home this weekend!

 With our dinner guests:

Ben, Dan and Morgan Newbold (Kate's brother and wife), Kate

and Will, Nate and Chase-

 who is too interested in the brownie on Nate's plate to look at the camera

 My mom, and the rest of the Franks family- 

Sam, Cori, Aaron, Jenna, Nanni and Bompa (Aaron's parents) and Shaylee

 My dad with Huds, Marly and Kelly Petersen and 

Bruce and Lisa Newbold (Kate's parents)

 After dinner the braver, more cold-tolerant ones went back into the pool. Of course, Chase could not let this opportunity pass him by! He had a blast playing in the water with his super uncle. Will and Ben helped Chase jump off the board over and over again (Ben was out of the water helping him get up, Will caught him in the pool) This picture doesn't show it, but he was grinning from ear to ear!

After the party was cleaned up and most of the guests left, we settled down in the basement with Will, Kate and Nate to watch Sherlock- a seriously addicting show Nate now has us hooked on. I stayed up way too late for someone who has to get up multiple times a night to feed a baby- but it was worth it. It was such a fun weekend!

4 month old Hudson

 This little sweetheart is 4 months old today! We went to see his pediatrician today and he's a healthy little boy! He's 16 lbs 5 oz (78th percentile) and 26 inches (80th percentile). I have been concerned/annoyed/exhausted because he's been getting up consistently every 2 hours all night long for the last few weeks. Since his weight hasn't suffered the doctor said we don't need to worry too much about it and we can start solids if we want, or wait longer. I was kind of hoping for a definite answer from him, so I guess we'll see how it goes!

 One thing is for sure, I have never met a happier baby! Seriously, Hudson rarely cries and is easily consoled. He smiles all the time and giggles so sweetly. He especially giggles when we change his clothes- I think he's a little ticklish. He loves to watch Chase and even though he sometimes flinches when Chase is close to him and being wild (poor Hudson has gotten a little hurt a few times) he mostly just sits and tolerates Chase's craziness quite well.

 One of my favorite things is rocking him at night and singing to him. He just sweetly stares and smiles at me and it completely melts my heart. I have a hard time putting him to bed because he's just so sweet and smiley. (Which is a more effective method than Chase's attempts at stalling bedtime- calling out from his room "I need water!" "I need covers!" and my personal favorite, "I need nail clippers!" Kid can't sleep if his nails aren't perfectly cut.) Hudson has brought us so much happiness in the last four months and we are so grateful he is in our family!

And for comparison/nostalgia sake- here is Chase at 4 months, and just barely 11 pounds! (So Hudson currently weighs 5 pounds more than Chase did at this age)

 And here is Chase in the same outfit Hudson was wearing above- only Chase is 11 months old here and it fits him looser than it currently fits Hudson! Hudson is going to catch up to Chase in no time!

Like Father Like Son

One of my favorite things about having little boys is watching their relationship with their dad. Fatherhood has brought out a whole new side to Ben that I didn't realize was there until Chase entered the scene. He's an adorable dad. Chase loves to be part of the action and loves doing projects with Ben. Last week Ben was working on fixing my parents power washer and Chase brought it up many times. From his tips on how to fix it, "It needs batteries!" (the solution to most "broken" toys) to his constant reminders to Ben that the project still wasn't complete, Chase talked about that dang power washer all week! (It still isn't fixed, although Ben has tried, apparently it's more complex and will probably take a professional) Chase got out his little tools right along side Ben and hammered away at that thing!

Here is Chase this morning helping Ben fix the door in his room. I love these little tools (which were a Christmas present from his Uncle Nathan) and how Chase knows all their names and what to do with them. Chase is so sure he's helping!

 And here they are mowing the lawn. I love how Chase is holding his headphones in place (Chase is pretty sensitive to loud noises). This was taken on Saturday and already today Chase was asking Ben if they could go mow the lawn again. He was a little disappointed that Ben told him that the grass has to grow a little more before they can mow.

This father-son bond is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I can't wait for Hudson to get a little older and get in on the action!

Rise and Shout

Chase loves his new BYU outfit.

He especially loves that Ben can usually be sporting a BYU T-shirt 

these days and he always wants to be "just like daddy!"

A few lovely moments we've had this week:

• Hudson and I got to spend a morning in Ogden with Kate. It was amazing how chill my life is when I only have to care for one, happy baby instead of two children including the crazy toddler.
• One morning on our morning walk Chase kept saying "I want to go see Sista Pe-eson (Sister Petersen) I want to say hi and ring her doorbell!" So after our walk we walked down the street to see if she was home. I had a lovely time visiting with our sweet, uplifting neighbor and Chase made himself right at home, going down to her basement and helping himself to whatever toy pleased him. I quickly realized he had ulterior motives- he remembered (from when we were there THREE MONTHS AGO) that she had a toy firetruck in her basement. He has a serious firetruck obsession. I love that my schedule is loose enough these days that we had time to just chat with a neighbor for a few hours.
• Ben and I enjoyed a night out while my mom watched the boys. Chase faked cried for about 30 seconds when we left, a courtesy for us I suppose so that we know he loves us. We had a lovely time having dinner without two year old tantrums or spit-up,and came home to two happy babies.
• We said good-bye to Heidi who left this week for her internship in Boston. Chase has been walking around the house saying, "Heidi! Where ARE you?" He misses her.
• Chase learned the "one, two, buckle my shoe" rhyme and has been delighted with it. He also sometimes changes it to "five, six, pick up sticks, seven, eight, put them in a pile." When we play "sticks and rocks" outside he frequently piles up the sticks, so it's really only a natural thought process for this boy. 

Mothers Day

I love being a mom so much. I love my little boys so much. Being a mom was always what I wanted to "be when I grew up." I'm so glad I have my Chase and Hudson who made that dream come true!

I love rocking Hudson to sleep. I love singing songs to my boys. I love teaching Chase his letters and numbers and hopefully some manners. I love giving baths and getting them dressed each day. I love sitting back and just watching Chase explore his world and play. I love drying their tears and kissing owies all better. I love reading stories while they sit in my lap. I love playing cars and trains and trucks and all those things that come along with little boys. I love watching them sleep- those beautiful long eyelashes lying on their soft, chubby cheeks and that feeling of awe that overcomes me when I think about these sweet babes. They truly are my two little miracles!

And I love my mom so much! She has taught me so much and set the best example of the mother I want to be! She's still there to teach me new things and dry my tears when I'm sad, so I guess some things never change.

Sadly we are missing Will from this photo- and we can't really take a group

picture around these parts without including Chase. So here is my mom

with three of her kids, plus one grandbaby, and minus a husband who was already at church.

In our efforts to get Chase to look at the camera Ben tried a whole bunch of things,

but this was the best we got, the "hands up!" approach.

Crazy Busy Weekend

This last weekend was such a blast, and I'm so exhausted!

I felt like we were running from one thing to the next,

but everything was so fun we couldn't leave anything out!

But first, here is a picture I took earlier this week.

I took the boys to my mom's work to have lunch with her.

Chase just adores his Nana, and he loves playing in her classroom.

 But back to the weekend- On Friday afternoon we went with Will and Katie to Baby Animal Days. Oh my it was darling! They let the kiddos pet all the darling little baby animals. Chase was pretty excited about the whole event. Here he is petting a baby chick. Will tried to get him to hold it, which true to Chase form, he held out his hands and after holding it for about one second said he was done and promptly dropped the chick. (Chase does the same thing with Hudson- we are a little more careful about lending support to his "holds" with Hudson, but luckily both Hudson and baby chicks are durable.)

 Everywhere we went Chase opted to hold Katie's hand. He loves her so much!

 Chase's favorite part of Baby Animal Days-

this tractor looking thing. Chase admired it more than once!

 He was pretty darn excited about the llamas.

My mom gave him some books about llama llama and 

they are some of his favorites- 

so you can imagine that the real deal was fairly exciting!

 And here is sweet Kate smushed in the backseat with the boys 

on our way home!

 Saturday morning we got up early to do the Hope for Hillary Fun Run. This darling little girl is Hillary Wheeler and she's almost two. Hillary was born with a severe brain malformation that makes her have uncontrollable seizures. The only hope for a cure was to split her brain- alienating the half that is causing the seizures. They did this last summer, but in March her seizures returned. Hillary is going to UCLA(the closest place that has a doctor who can even perform this intense surgery) this week for another operation that will hopefully stop the seizures for good. Even if the procedure is successful, this sweet girl still has to go through life only able to use one side of her brain, which will lead to severe physical and mental disabilities. My mom has taught two of the Wheeler's kids, and currently has their son Jacob. They are a darling family and are trying to do anything they can to help their sweet daughter. There was a 5k on Saturday to raise money for her surgery. We were honored to be part of it!

This was Chase and Hudson's first 5k (being pushed in the stroller obviously),

and I didn't learn until after that it was also Ben's first 5k! (How did he go

through 28 years of life without doing one?!)

For the purpose of full disclosure, we didn't exactly run it, since this 

was a fairly last minute decision for us

and we aren't really hard core runners,

but it was fun to just walk it as a family and support the Wheelers and sweet Hillary.

 We did it with my mom and Heidi and pretty much walked the whole thing together,

not a bad way to spend a Saturday morning!

 There were lots of kids from my mom's class there to support Jacob,

and Chase is fairly famous with them as well so they wanted a picture with him!

Jacob, Hillary's older brother, is on the left.

The whole race I kept thinking about how it was Mothers Day weekend and how blessed I am to be a mother to my sweet boys. As I buckled them into the stroller for the race and I looked at their sweet little faces I got a little teary thinking of the Wheelers having to put their almost 2 year old baby in the hands of surgeons in the coming week for a risky surgery and the health complications they will deal with for the rest of their lives. I'm so grateful for my healthy kids.

We came home from the race and got to work planting flowers in the yard. Will and Kate were there as well and it was basically a party! Chase got into as much trouble as was possible, all under the guise of "helping" (bless his heart, he really does think he's helping) and Hudson just chilled in the swing. After we had a girls lunch at Texas Roadhouse (because Will was working) to have one last lunch together before Heidi leaves on Wednesday for her internship in BOSTON! (really any excuse to go to lunch with my mom and sisters is good enough for me!) I love doing things with my family- even though it was busy and I was completely exhausted by Saturday night, it was such a blast!

Out of the Mouth of Chase Part III

While laying in bed trying to go to sleep, Ben overheard him recapping his entire day:
"I don't get donuts today in the big red truck. I don't get donuts today in the big red truck."
(The day before my dad had taken him for donuts in his truck, it is one of the most exciting things Chase ever gets to do)

Everything these days is "I need. I need!" One day he told my mom:
Chase: "I need some chocate cake".
Nana: "Chase, no one needs chocolate cake."
And then Chase gave her a look that could curdle milk.

He has also made it very clear what his dessert preferences are every time we have pie for Sunday dessert, "I don't like pie! I don't like pie! (Said very matter of factly with his eye brows raised way high) I like take. I like Chocate Take." (take=cake)

He doesn't usually answer Yes or No. It's "yeps" and "nopes". Makes us laugh every time.

He likes to make Hudson happy, which he does by rubbing Hudson's head really fast and saying"happy!" Hudson usually just looks confused and Ben and I are on the ones laughing. He also says "I make Hudson smile!" Then pokes Hudson's cheek or chin and says "BAAA!" really loud and then says "Oh mile! Big mile!" even if Hudson gives him a totally blank look.

As he draped a piece of ribbon he found in my hair he kept saying "I make mommy's hair pretty! Pretty like Sofia!" (From Sofia the First, a show on Disney Jr.)

Chase: One, Two, Three- Hudson has three eyes!
Me: Three eyes? Are you sure?
Chase: Yeps. Three eyes.
Me: Really?
Chase: Weally.
Me: How many eyes do you have?
Chase: (While covering his eyes) I have two eyes. Daddy has two eyes. Mommy has two eyes.
Me: But Hudson has three?
Chase: Yeps. Hudson has three eyes.

Ben pulled on Chase's toe while they were playing and it popped:
Chase: Don't take my toe away daddy! Put it back! That's not fun.

While saying his prayers:
Thank you for ipad. Thank you for Will and Tatie. Thank you for my favorite airplane. Thank you for tractors.
(It's good to know what's really important)

Taking a BREAK

After last weeks sad and frustrating events we decided we just needed a break, needed to get away from everything for a little bit. We decided to go visit our friends the Caldwells in sunny California. The Caldwells lived next door to us when we lived in Provo and we did basically everything with them during those childless days- dinners, Fri/Sat/Sun movie nights, picnics, games- basically it was a blast. Reconnecting with good friends seemed like the medicine we needed. Mike and Meghan were game for our last minute trip, so Monday morning super early we took off for Orange County!

Our first stop was to see my brother Nate in Cedar City. Chase was so excited to see him (it's been over a month since we last saw him). It was a good break for us after 4 hours of driving and we enjoyed some Wendy's. After a little lunch we were back on the road!

 Driving all the way from Kaysville to Orange County in one day with two babies was.....long. But the boys honestly did great! We had to stop every 2 hours to feed Hudson, so it was obviously a little slower than it was when Ben and I have done that drive together. The boys mostly stayed happy until the last 90 minutes, when they both started to lose it. Needless to say, for more reasons than one, we were all VERY happy when we pulled into the Caldwells home. We were so happy to be back with our good friends and so appreciated their hospitality in hosting us! We put the little boys to bed and enjoyed staying up late chatting with Mike and Meghan and watching our favorite TV show, Castle. It was just like old times! (Except that we felt like it was so late staying up until 11- but hey- our kids were up every day by 5:30!)

We spent Tuesday just hanging around the house. The boys took turns napping and then finally we got everything together to take a lovely little walk around their neighborhood. We made pizza for dinner, which we did all the time in the olden days. Again, once we got the little ones in bed, we enjoyed staying up late together. We tried to get to bed a little earlier so that we'd be well rested for Wednesday and DISNEYLAND!

Wednesday we enjoyed a beautiful, fun day at the happiest place on earth! Chase was so excited to see Mickey Mouse again and talked about it all morning until we went to meet him! (And how cute are these two little friends holding hands!)

 I love how Chase is holding Mickey's hand! We filmed Chase meeting him again and it just tickled me to see him run up to give him a big hug! The park wasn't very crowded, so we hardly waiting in lines at all! Hudson was a little angel and mostly just ate and slept in my arms. Chase is so fun to do things like this with- he was so brave and went on pretty much every ride he could! I was afraid he would freak out on Pirates with the big drops in the dark- but it didn't even phase him! Other than Hudson crying all the way through the Haunted Mansion (he was tired, and it was loud, and I felt like an awesome mom taking my crying baby on a ride that is mostly meant for older people) it was smooth sailing all day! We stopped to see Tigger and Pooh after the Winnie the Pooh ride. Chase was so excited the whole time we stood in line and kept trying to get through the ropes to get to the characters without waiting. Then once it was our turn Chase lost all confidence and would not even look at Tigger! Here is the photographic evidence of how the encounter went down...

 ...I thought he might do a little better with sweet, lovable Pooh Bear, but Pooh got much the same reaction from Chase.

 It was at this point we decided Chase was probably spent and we should head back to Caldwells home (since they are season pass holders and Ethan wasn't feeling too hot they only stayed for the morning). It was a beautiful, magical day though and we were so glad we were able to go! Chase was a little easier to put to bed that night, completely exhausted from a day in the park. I'm not going to lie, I was totally exhausted too and fell asleep right in the middle of our grown up movie watching that night!

Thursday we headed to the pool. These two boys looked so darling in their little swim suits. I can't believe what good friends these two are! The summer that Meghan and I were both pregnant with these little boys we did a lot together- walks, shopping at Park City, and nightly dinner together (I was too sick to cook and Meghan wasn't feeling like cooking either, so our husbands took turns cooking for all four of us!). We talked all the time about how these little boys were going to be best friends, just like their dads, and they definitely are! Every time we see them these boys don't stop laughing and playing together (and occasionally fighting over the same toys- they are two years old). I wish we lived closer and these boys could play together all the time!

 And here is our sweet Hudson. He is the easiest baby to travel with! Seriously, as long as he gets to eat every 2 hours and people hold him, Hudson is happy no matter where he is!

 After the pool we headed out to show Chase the Newport Beach Temple. Chase has this serious love for temples so we knew he'd like it. We were right- he loved it. I agree with him though, it is beautiful!

 This was after a serious wrestling session between the boys and their dads-

it was hilarious and adorable and wound the boys up nicely right before bedtime!

 All too soon it was time to pack up and head home. We were sad to say good-bye to our good friends, and I was dreading the real life awaiting us upon our return, but it was definitely good to get a little distance and have a little fun! The boys did great on the trip home. We stopped in Cedar again for hamburgers and picked up Uncle Nate to bring him home for the weekend. Chase was once again delighted to see him and we really enjoyed having his company for those last couple long hours! (Even if it did mean I was sitting in the backseat, between the two carseats with my feet on the hump- I couldn't have been happier when we pulled in to Kaysville.) I had to laugh at the contrast of my two kids- Chase started to lose it somewhere around Provo and kept throwing tantrums, and I would look over at Hudson and he was flash me a huge gummy smile. Oh how we love that baby! I know someday he'll be a crazy two year old too, but for now I'm soaking up his 3 month old sweetness!

**Thank you for all your sweet comments on my last post. I have received so many sweet comments along with emails, phone calls, hugs and visits. Nothing like a big trial to show you how amazing the people in your life truly are. I have been comforted so much with the love and support we've received from our family and friends, it's been its own little miracle. So many people have shared with me a thought they've had, or a quote from an apostle, or some other word of wisdom that has been just what I needed to hear at the moment. Thank you! Thank you!