Perspective

Today I am thankful for perspective. This week I've been thinking about this exact same week four years ago, and I'm grateful for the experiences I've had and lessons I've learned since then. Let me describe this same week, four years ago. I was a freshman at BYU living in the dorms.

Wednesday: I had an interview for study abroad in London. I knew it was a long shot because I was so young and they generally accepted upperclassmen, but I really wanted to go. I knew the program was competitive, but I figured if I started trying to get in early I would get to go at some point, even if it wasn't that year. The interview did not go as well as I'd hoped. I got confused about where I was supposed to wait for the interview and ended up missing my time slot completely. They still agreed to interview me, but I left feeling like I probably wouldn't get in. It wasn't the end of my world, but I was a little disappointed.

The day got worse from there. Later that night, my roommate Lauren got a call from her dad. This was one of those phone calls no one ever wants to get. Her parents were at Primary Childrens Hospital with her 17 year old brother. They had just discovered he had a large tumor growing on his heart and it was starting to cut off blood flow to his brain. It was not easily operable and they were undergoing tests to try to figure out what the next course of action should be as this was an extremely time sensitive situation and treatment was needed to start immediately. She was understandably upset. We were up really really late that night. I felt a little lost, not knowing what I could do to help her and her family. All I could really do was pray.

Thursday: In order to try to cheer up Lauren and get her mind on other things, all my roommates decided to take her to dinner. We all piled in my car and went to Costa Vida for dinner. It was fun and just a good break for everyone. Then we left the restaurant, my car was GONE. It had been towed. It was then that I learned if you eat at Costa Vida, you are not allowed to park in the Burger King parking lot that is adjacent to Costa Vida. (There were probably 20 open spots still, why they felt the need to tow my car I still don't know. To this day, I refuse to support their business). I called my friend Caitlyn, who brought Keely along to come pick us up. After dropping everyone else off at the dorms, we went in search of the impound lot. Keely made me laugh the whole time. I had to pay $121 to get my car back, which felt like a lot of money at the time. Oh well, again, this night we went to bed very very late.

Friday: I drove Lauren up to Primary Childrens so she could spend the weekend with her family there. As I was leaving I hit a traffic jam. The traffic jam threw me over the edge. I cried the whole drive back to Provo. I went into my dorm room and fell asleep, completely exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that had happened that week.

Now I fast forward four years. As it turns out, I got accepted to the study abroad program and later that spring I spent two wonderful months studying in London. I met amazing life-long friends and had great adventures. I ended up getting married the next summer, so that spring really was my only chance to go on study abroad. Everything worked out just perfectly.

My bank account is none the worse for spending that $121 to get my car out of impound. I am extremely careful now when I park anywhere in Provo, knowing that you must park in the specific slots for the store/restaurant you are supporting. In the long run, $121 isn't that much money.

Lauren's little brother is alive and well. In a few weeks he'll be returning home from honorably serving a two year mission in Florida.

It still drives me crazy to not know what the future has in store. I still worry about where Ben and I will be living next year, if Chase will be born healthy and at term, if I'll be able to handle being a mom, and the list goes on and on. However, I am comforted that I know this isn't all up to me. I know that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I know He knows the big picture. Things that seem like a big deal now will seem much smaller from the distance of the future. As my Grandpa White used to always say, "Things have a way of working out." I truly believe this; somehow things always work out for the best. I'm thankful for this perspective.