Final Thoughts on Dominica

I wrote this post back on August 4, right after I left Dominica. Now as I'm publishing it, Ben is on his way home, probably somewhere over Kentucky, having successfully passed his 4th and final semester on the island. Let the celebrating begin!

I'm sitting here in the hotel room in San Juan, sitting on a fluffy white duvet with four fluffy white pillows and the air conditioner humming away while my baby sleeps- it feels like luxury. In all reality, it's a tiny airport hotel room. After living in Dominica for the last 15 months, luxury it is.

Today was a whirlwind of emotions. I left Dominica today. My sweet Chase is with me, but Ben is still on the island. It sounds dramatic, but I felt like I left a piece of my heart on the island. Ben will be back in the states with us in 12 days, so it's not a dramatic separation, but after all we went through on the island together, I kind of wish we could have said good-bye together and given Dominica a proper send-off from the Hugo family.

As we took off I reflected on what it felt like 15 months ago to leave Utah. Honestly, it was one of the hardest days of my life. Saying good-bye to family just about ripped my heart out. As we took off from Salt Lake and I gazed out the window at those familiar mountains I felt like I'd never see them again. 15 months seemed so long. Tears filled my eyes as we took off, but as Ben gently reminded me, we were still together as a family, and that was what was really important. I had the sweetest 3 month old baby in my lap, my courageous and faithful husband by my side, and everything would be okay. We headed off into the unknown, not really knowing what was in store, and there was so much in store.

Our lives and hearts were about to be changed forever. We would begin to see the world through new eyes. We have really never had so little- we came with what we had in our suitcases and our one barrel that we'd shipped. 95% of everything we owned, including our car, was in storage at my parents house. We didn't have much, and when we looked around, we realized how much we really had. It was truly humbling to get to know the locals here, and get a glimpse of what their lives were every single day. To go to visit a sister in the branch, her tiny home that houses her family of 7 is no bigger than the kitchen in my apartment. There is no running water, a sheet hangs in the door, no screens on the open air windows. I could easily see the amount of food they had in the house- a small amount of rice, a little oil and a few rolls, and that was it. And this is not an uncommon Dominican family. Literacy is so low. Jobs are scarce. I realized how lucky I was that I could feed my son, that we had screens on our windows, and running water in our house.

In Dominica we road the biggest spiritual and emotional roller coaster of our lives so far. We would again and again be humbled by the Lord. We would pray, together and separately, with more earnest than ever before. Feeling so alone on this tiny island in the middle of the Caribbean Sea, I would come to understand God's love for me and my family in a new way. I'd truly learn the concept that He knows me and loves me personally. I'd grow in my love for the Savior. I'd learn many new things as I searched the scriptures for comfort and answers in the many, many trials I would face in our time there.

And although this may make it sound like this experience was full of trials and darkness- there were great adventures to be had. I will forever treasure the memories I made of playing with my baby on the beach, seeing him discover sand and squeal in the waves. We got to visit some of the most beautiful, incredible places on earth as a family in our trips to Emerald Pool, Titou Gorge and Trafalgar Falls. There were many nights of eating a picnic dinner as we watched the sunset over the ocean. I also would grow to appreciate the simple pleasures of enjoying my husband and baby boy. We would get to celebrate all of Chase's first holidays together as a little family of three and start new traditions.

I made some wonderful friends on the island that made all the difference for me. There were many days that these friends kept me sane and made me laugh. Chase made his first little friends there too. It was so hard to say good-bye to them, although I have a feeling it isn't good-bye forever. I think our paths will all cross again at some point. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

I wish I could somehow reach back through time to 15 months ago, and give my scared self a hug and tell myself it would all be okay. It would be more than okay, it would be amazing. It would be amazing in a hard, fun, adventurous, beautiful way.