Mothers Day 2014

I'm so glad that I get to be a mom! These two boys are seriously a dream come true. Somedays it's hard, and somedays it's really, really hard, but the happiness they bring to my life outshines all that. I came to the conclusion after I had Hudson and I was trying to adjust to having 2 needy, sweet little kids, that it was okay that I felt like my job was hard. It could be hard and I could love it at the same time. I love teaching my boys new things and watching them learn. I love wiping away their tears and giving hugs when they are sad. I love cuddling in the middle of the night when someone has a bad dream. I really love reading stories and singing lullabies. I love pushing them around in the stroller and taking them everywhere with me. Mostly I love their smiles, sweet little faces and feisty little spirits. Some days I feel like I'm in over my head- and I call my mom and vent to her- and she reassures me that they are normal and I am normal and that it will all be okay. I love her. 

Which brings me to my second thought today: A few months back we were having a lesson in Relief Society from Elder Holland's conference talk on depression. So many women shared their experiences with depression, and about 90% of those came from the time their children were very very young. They talked about the physical demands on young children and how exhausted they felt all the time- and the importance of taking time for yourself and getting help from other people. I sat there feeling a little awkward- I was one of only a handful of young mothers in the room (we have an older ward). And honestly- I don't feel this exhaustion and despair that so many of them were talking about, and I know exactly why. Because there are so many people surrounding me helping me raise these boys. I have a husband who despite long work hours is amazing with our kids. My parents babysit all the time or have us up to dinner on a random week night. My dad takes Chase on little outings every week. My brothers and sisters adore my kids and are constantly reassuring me that I'm on the right track. The people in our ward kindly smile at us as we take our noisy baby out of sacrament meeting. Some awesome friends come over for play dates so I can get some social interaction along with my kids. There are so many people around me who are helping me raise these boys, and I feel the strength of their love every single day. And ultimately I know Heavenly Father is there to help me, He truly knows what is best for my kids and He will guide me to find it. I am so thankful for all the people who are there to help me on this journey- they've helped me to be able to fully enjoy motherhood and all these sweet boys have to offer. Of course I'm exhausted at the end of each day- but it's mostly a happy-exhaustion that I wouldn't trade for the world. 

 And just when you think Chase couldn't get any cuter- here is a picture of the mothers day card he made me. I know exactly what it was before Ben even told me- Chase's current favorite machine- a cement mixer. I think Chase is saying he loves me as much as he loves cement mixers- which is a whole lot.